50 ways to stay in lockdown

The lyrics for Paul Simon’s iconic 70s song, Fifty ways to leave your lover, with a few changes relevant to the strange times we’re living in. 

50 ways to stay in lockdown

“The problem is all inside your head”, she said to me
“The answer is easy if you take it logically
I’d like to help you in your struggle to stay home
There must be fifty ways to stay in lockdown”

She said, “it’s really not my habit to intrude
Furthermore, I hope my meaning won’t be lost or misconstrued
But I’ll repeat myself at the risk of being crude
There must be fifty ways to stay in lockdown
Fifty ways to stay in lockdown”

You just bolt the door, Jack
Make a new plan, Stan
You do need to be coy, Roy
Just stay inside, Gus
Don’t hop on the bus 
You do need to discuss much
Just throw away the key, Lee
And you’re locked in, Bee

Ooh, slip in the back, Jack
Make a new plan, Stan
You do need to be coy, Roy
You just listen to me
Don’t hop on the bus, Gus
You don’t…

50 ways to leave your lover – Paul Simon original – 1975

“The problem is all inside your head”, she said to me
“The answer is easy if you take it logically
I’d like to help you in your struggle to be free
There must be fifty ways to leave your lover”

She said, “it’s really not my habit to intrude
Furthermore, I hope my meaning won’t be lost or misconstrued
But I’ll repeat myself at the risk of being crude
There must be fifty ways to leave your lover
Fifty ways to leave your lover”

You just slip out the back, Jack
Make a new plan, Stan
You don’t need to be coy, Roy
Just get yourself free
Hop on the bus, Gus
You don’t need to discuss much
Just drop off the key, Lee
And get yourself free

Ooh, slip out the back, Jack
Make a new plan, Stan
You don’t need to be coy, Roy
You just listen to me
Hop on the bus, Gus
You don’t…

Paul Simon

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